Icy Winters and Icy Hearts
by misabella
Summary: SasukexNaruto. Naruto has fallen in love with Sasuke's frozen heart and can't bear the weight of rejection. Warning, suicide, Yaoi, and other various dark themes
1. Rejection

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

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**I'm sooo sorry for not updating anything! I have been banned from Naruto for months by my mom** _(sob)_** but I'm sneaking around her and posting stories anyway. I shall celebrate with this new story!!

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_**ATTENTION!**_** THIS STORY IS ****YAOI****! THAT MEANS THE PAIRING IS ****GUY ON GUY!**** Don't say I didn't warn you!**

The pairing is Naruto and Sasuke.

It's around the time after Sasuke leaves for the Sound.

Rated T for dark themes and for two guys making out.

**ENJOY!!!

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The snow fell lightly on the ground, illuminated by the full moon that hung high in the cool night sky. The trees stood solitary and looked like ghosts amid the falling ice. Konoha slowly turned to white while its inhabitants slept peacefully. All except one lonely soul wandering the training grounds with no clear intention of where to go. His footsteps were muffled by the snow and an eerie silence hung in the air. His blonde hair and clothes were speckled with white as he trudged through the blanket of white covering the ground. His blue eyes, that seemed dull and lifeless, stared sadly at the ground. Naruto pulled his jacket closer around his body and looked up at the grey clouds up above. He fell backwards into the snow and just lyed there, not taking his eyes off the sky.

The next day Kakashi discovered Naruto sleeping in the snow almost frozen to death. He rushed him to Tsunade without taking notice of the tears that were frozen on his face.

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"Naruto, are you all right?"

Naruto's dream world shifted into reality as he opened his eyes to the worried face of Sakura. He blinked a couple times before noticing that the bed he was sleeping on was not his and that there was a heavy smell of antiseptic in the air. He mumbled something unintelligible before sitting up groggily.

"Oh, thank goodness you're awake. Tsunade was getting worried about you." Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. "You're lucky the Kakashi found you in time or else you probably would've frozen to death."

"Where is he?" Naruto asked, still half asleep.

"Who?"

"Kakashi."

"He was here earlier but he had to go because he had a mission."

"Oh." He looked down and saw that he was wearing a disposable nightgown and frowned. "Sakura, where are my clothes?"

Sakura bent over and pulled out a bundle of clothes that she then handed to Naruto. She exited the room to give Naruto privacy to get changed. As Naruto pulled on his shirt he looked out the window and saw that the snow had stopped falling. He put on the rest of his clothes and went outside the room to meet Sakura.

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Naruto and Sakura left the hospital in favor of taking a walk around the hospitals park. Sakura looked strangely at Naruto who had not bothered to put on his jacket.

"Aren't you cold?" She asked.

"Not really."

"Hmm. By the way, I've been meaning to ask you something, Kakashi said that when he found you it didn't look like you collapsed in the snow. Apparently it was like you purposely lied down in the snow."

"Maybe I did."

Sakura looked in alarm at Naruto.

"Gosh Naruto, It's like you don't care if you die." All she received was silence. "You don't actually want to kill yourself do you?"

Again, silence. Sakura grabbed his wrist and forced him to stop walking.

"Answer me!" she demanded.

"Maybe it would be better if I was dead." He mumbled. His eyes were locked onto the icy ground at his feet.

"What are you saying?! What's going on with you? You've been like this ever since Sasuke left, what happened? Sakura demanded. Naruto pried her hand off of his wrist and turned away from her.

"I gave him my heart and he threw it away like it was trash." He said. Sakura's gaze softened and she put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, I never knew…" She said.

Naruto shrugged her hand off his shoulder and said, "I don't need your pity. It's my fault for trying to love him. His heart is as frozen as ice." On the last word the snow started falling from the gray sky again. He walked away leaving Sakura alone in the snow-covered park.

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The next day Kakashi and Sakura went over to Naruto's apartment. They found him slowly picking at a bowl of ramen. Kakashi walked over to him and saw that he didn't eat any of it.

"Naruto, how long have you been sitting here?"

"About two hours" He said truthfully. He set his chopsticks down and turned to look at them both. "So what do you want?" He said in a tone that was very much unlike him.

"I was worried about what you were saying yesterday so I told Kakashi." Sakura said. Naruto just scowled.

"Naruto, do you want to talk about it?" Kakashi asked.

"No, just leave me alone."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Leave." He said fiercely. He turned his attention back to his cold bowl of ramen and stared down into the murky broth until the two left.

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That night Naruto stepped into his bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush. As he was about to pop open the cap of his toothpaste, he spotted a shiny razor blade in the corner of his bathroom. He set down his toothbrush and picked the blade up off the floor. He examined it for a second, turning it so it reflected the bright fluorescent light. Then he took it and drew it slowly across his wrist. As he watched the blood spill out he whispered one word.

"Sasuke…"

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**Please don't hate me for making Naruto suicidal!!! Don't worry about that last part, just wait for the next chapter to see what happens… Flame only if you have something constructive to say.**

**By the way, if you're still waiting for the second chapter of "Sasuke Unhealthy Obsession" I'm still working on it. Do not fret, it will come soon!**

**-Misa ♥**


	2. Why am I still alive?

**Disclaimer: "What do you think?"**

**Alright people!! Here I have the new chappie!! I know it took absolutely forever to write but it's finally here and you all can rejoice!! Hoorah!**

**Oh yah, I forgot:**

**_ATTENTION!_ THIS STORY IS YAOI! THAT MEANS THE PAIRING IS GUY ON GUY! Don't say I didn't warn you!**

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He was falling, falling softly

He was falling, falling softly. Falling to a world of eternal dreams and imaginings. A world of nothing, yet it is everything. A world of beauty intertwined with nightmarish beings. The pain ebbed away to a small echo, and then trickled away to nothingness. He was numb, oblivious to everything, barely aware of the two figures crashing through his bathroom door.

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**-Naruto's POV-**

The first time I opened my eyes all I saw was a blank white ceiling. My arms and legs felt heavy and it was painful to move my head. Every sense was covered by a hazy fog.

'_Is this Heaven?'_ I thought. A certain antiseptic smell pierced through the haze and my brain registered exactly where I was.

"Shit…" I heard myself swear. And then I was falling again. My mind let go of reality and slipped back into darkness. The last thing I saw was a flash of pink and a desperate,

"Tsunade!"

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**One Day Later…**

Once again, I felt the familiar tug of reality. My eyes cracked open and a fuzzy outline of Sakura came into view.

"Naruto, are you… okay?" she asked.

"What the hell am I doing here?" I asked, not bothering to comprehend her first question. The haze slowly cleared up and I managed to sit up and look about the room. It was small and somewhat clean.

"Kakashi and I found on the floor and we brought you to the hospital." Sakura informed me. I looked to my left and saw a table covered with cards and flowers. I saw that most of them were from Sakura and Hinata; I think I even saw one from Kiba. Sakura must have noticed me looking because she said,

"Everyone visits you a lot. They all worry about you, you know."

"Sakura, how long have I been out?"

"About a week and a half. You lost a lot of blood it would take a while to recover and your mind had slipped into a temporary coma."

A week and a half? It shouldn't have taken that long to heal…

'_What the hell Kyuubi?'_

'**You brought it upon yourself kit,'** and then it was silent.

"When can I leave?" I asked.

"Oh! Umm, well you can leave now if you'd like." Sakura said. She helped me stand and said to meet her at the reception desk. After she had left, I looked down at the generic hospital gown and wrinkled my nose in disgust. I ripped it off and put on the clothes that were resting on a chair near the door.

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The crisp clean snow crunched underfoot as Sakura and I walked slowly to my apartment.

"We already cleaned…uh…the mass in your bathroom after you…um…" Sakura stuttered.

"From when I committed suicide?" I offered.

"When you _tried_ to commit suicide. Naruto… why did you do it?" She shivered a little and I place my coat around her shoulders.

"I don't know, I was already thinking about for a while. All the cold stares and hateful murmurs sort of kept building up and I guess Sasuke's rejection was the straw that broke the camels back." I smiled a bit at my analogy.

"Naruto it isn't funny, this is really serious. Everyone was so worried, I was worried. When we opened that door and saw you lying in a pool of y-your own blood…I-…I c-couldn't…" Sakura broke down and tears flowed freely across her face.

"Sakura, I-…"

"-Promise me," She grabbed my arm fiercely; "Promise me that you won't ever try it again!" Her voice rang out clearly through the winter air. The snowflakes fell softly. I looked into her eyes and said,

"I promise."

**-End Naruto's POV-**

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"I'll be fine Sakura."

"Fine then, but I'll be checking on you every once in a while." Sakura walked away, leaving Naruto in his doorway. Before he shut it and old drunkard stumbled his way up to him.

"You should've died, I was happy when I heard… 'hic' …When I heard that you killed… 'hic' …you don't deserve to live you monster!" He laughed and threw his bottle at Naruto's head. Naruto dodged it and watched as he walked away laughing for no apparent reason. Naruto slammed his door shut and clenched his hand into an angry fist. He turned and punched a hole into his wall. Fragments of wood and plaster dug and sliced into his knuckle and rivulets of blood trickled down the wall. He withdrew his hand and cradled it against his chest.

He stepped into his small kitchen and ran his hand under a faucet. Out of the corner of his eye, a knife glinted like an old friend. He turned off the sink and picked it up. With his thumb, he tested the edge of the blade and seemed satisfied when blood welled up and onto the stainless steel. Naruto held the knife over his un-bandaged wrist and stood quietly. For a while he just stood there, knife poised, battling with his inner emotions.

'_What should I do?'_

'**How should I know kit?'**

'_but-…'_

'**Don't you always say that you never go back on your word?' **Kyuubi replied. He chuckled; a deep booming sound that echoed to the very depths of Naruto's soul. **'I recall a certain kunoichi.'**

Naruto dropped the knife and it clattered loudly against the countertop. He sank to his knees and rested his forehead against the wooden cabinets below his sink. He covered his face with his hand and whispered,

"I can't…I can't…I can't…" He didn't want to move. He stayed in the same spot in the same position and waited for Sakura to come find him.

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**This originally had A LOT more (And I mean a lot) So I split it up into two chapters. Well, I expect you all to review after you read, after all, It's common courtesy. Flame only with criticism. Flamers who do not have something constructive will get their own chapter full of me saying how stupid they are.**

**Thank you to my reveiwer:**

xxguesswhoxx: lol, yes he is, but you'll see his reason why in the next chapter!


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